


I Love Therefore I Am

by bill_nye_the_russian_spy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OR IS IT, Oblivious GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29985489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bill_nye_the_russian_spy/pseuds/bill_nye_the_russian_spy
Summary: Guess who was feeling angsty and decided to write a Hanahaki au - you guessed it!The scratching in his throat became unbearable, and he started to cough.In the background Dream could faintly hear George asking if he was okay, but Dreams attention was focused solely on the daffodil petal that sat on his keyboard, covered in blood and mucus, staring up at him, innocently.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	1. Daffodil Petals, Unrequited Love

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if any of the people involved in this decide they are no longer comfortable with shipping or fan fiction, this will be swiftly taken down. (Wanna see some real speed bitch)
> 
> \- Bill xx

Green eyes crinkled with joy, and the musical sound of laughter filled the air. Sunshine shone through Dreams recording room, shadows dancing along his face as he chuckled. A hand reached up to move a wave of dirty blonde hair out of his eyes.

“But George, I love you! Why don’t you love me?” The blonde pouted, even though there was no one to see it, and waited eagerly for a response from the other end.

A lightly accented voice broke the playful silence.

“Dream, I’m afraid your just far too poor for me.” Dream gasped dramatically, hand coming to clutch at his shirt, positioned over his heart, playing up the rejection for the audiences entertainment.

“George, do I not have enough subscribers for you?” Dream sounded genuinely distraught, and caused the Brit on the other end to laugh.

George quickly saw an opportunity and took it. 

“Guys speaking of being poor, I’ve released new merch that you can buy! In lots of different colou-“ Dream quickly cut in. “Lots of different colours you can’t see.” Before promptly breaking into a wheezing laugh.

George’s face lit up in indignation, his chocolate brown eyes widening in mock shock, with his eyebrows furrowed jokingly. Dream watched George splutter in amusement, just watching the way the sun seemed to turn his brown hair into a halo, and his eyes a beautiful shade of gold.

Dream cleared his throat, feeling a slight tickle, that just seemed to get more insistent the more he tried to get rid of it. For a last ditch attempt he grabbed his water bottle and took a swig of water.

“Damn I think I have something in my throat.” George’s face curled into a suggestive grin. George leaned closer to the mic, his lips just brushing it, before taking a breath and whispering.

“I know what else you could get stuck in your throat..” 

Dream started choking on the water, the itch in his throat getting stronger.

“George what the hell!-“ shortly punctuated by a wheeze. “You can’t just say things like that!” Dream clicked on the chat, just to see a whole slew of ‘dnf dnf dnf dnf’, and chuckled.

The brunettes face was split into a shit eating grin as he smiled blindly into the camera, seemingly straight at Dream. The scratching in his throat became unbearable, and he started to cough. In the background Dream could faintly hear George asking if he was okay, but Dreams attention was focused solely on the daffodil petal that sat on his keyboard, covered in blood and mucus, staring up at him, innocently.

“What- What the fuck.” Dream rubbed his eyes, to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. “What in- I don’t-“

George asked again, If Dream was okay, concern coating his words.

“I-I think I need to go, uh bye stream, bye George.” 

After saying his goodbyes Dream clicked to leave the call and practically threw his headset away from him. He picked up the daffodil petal, and put it in a tissue on his shelf, before opening his phone and clicking onto google.

Dream waited anxiously for Sapnap to pick up his phone, biting his nails. A habit he hadn’t done since his teenage years. Sapnap picked up.

“Did you know daffodils mean unrequited love?” Dream laughed hollowly into his phone. Sapnap made a confused noise.

“And your telling me this why? Decided to embrace your inner calling as a florist Dreamie?”

Dream laughed again, without humour. The bags under his eyes were so dark they looked fake, and his usually vibrant golden hair was a dull flaxen colour.

“Tell me Snapmap, if you had to pick between death, and never being able to feel again, what would you pick?”

Sapnap chuckled nervously. “Uh Dream your kinda starting to worry me, you okay man?”

Dream asked again, persistent. “Sapnap if you had to pick between dying, or becoming an emotionless husk. What would you pick.”

Just before Sapnap could answer, Dream broke into a coughing fit, deep painful sounding coughs, that shook his frame. Dream uncurled his fist to find a daffodil petal staring up at him, tauntingly.

“I don’t know Dream, but can you tell me what’s going on, your starting to scare me.”

The sun that shone through the blinds no longer held Dream in its soft embrace, it instead burned his eyes and made him feel as if he was under inspection, the sun scrutinising his every move.

“Sapnap have you ever heard of this disease called Hanahaki?” Silence greeted Dream.

“It starts with love, and twists it into something vile, cruel hard and unforgiving, which I guess love is anyway.” Dream laughed, cruelly, before continuing “Hanahaki targets those who have fallen in love with someone who doesn’t return their feelings, effectively killing them of a broken heart. Well, flowers slowly grow in your lungs, until you cough them up-.” This was emphasised by a hacking cough. “The victim will start coughing up petals.” Dream looked at the daffodil petal on his desk. “Eventually, instead of petals it’s whole flowers. This is how you know you’ve entered stage two. Stage two is were thorns creep around your lungs, they shred them to pieces, no mercy and a zero survival rate, so it kills you, you drown in an awful concoction of flowers and blood-“

Dream only stopped when he heard Sapnap sniffling from the other end.  
“Ok Dream I get it just- just stop, is there no cure?”

Dream staying silent for a moment or two before opening his mouth and quietly speaking. “The only way to survive unscathed is if the person you love confesses to you. The only other method to avoid death is surgery, the surgery kills your feelings for not just that person, but everyone. And the only other outcome is death.”

Dream felt his facade start to crack, a tear dripping down his face, before another one joined it, and he and Sapnap started sobbing together on call.

“Sapnap I don’t want to die.” Whispered Dream, like a frightened child.

Sapnap shushed Dream. “It’s ok Clay, you aren’t going to die, I promise.”

Sapnap didn’t need to ask who it was, he already knew.

George’s door went for the fifth time in three minutes. He rolled his eyes, agitated and looked apologetically into the camera.

“Sorry guys this person really isn’t giving up, I’ll be right back! Sapnap can you entertain the stream for me?”

The last thing George heard before taking his headset of was Sapnap plugging his channel. George rolled his eyes again. Typical. Before making his way to the door, just as the bell rang again.

“I’m just coming now!” He shouted in the general direction of the door, before muttering about manners and yanking the door open.

He was met with an exceptionally tall man, with dirty blonde hair and a smattering of freckles spreading across both cheeks, he had a nervous smile and what George could only assume was green eyes, he was holding a bouquet of daffodils.

“Wrong house sorry.” Was all George said before shutting the door and heading back to his setup, he perked up, noticing Dream was on the VC.

“Oh hey Dream!” George said into his mic, happy to see his closest friend.

“George it’s fucking freezing outside, I brought you flowers and then you shut the door on me?” Dream deadpans.

“Your fucking with me.” George shakily exhales, and when he hears confirmation that Dream was in fact not fucking with him, and actually on his porch, he almost gets whiplash from how fast he stands up and runs to the door.

George’s socks slide on the wooden floor, and the wall plays ping pong with his body, but George really didn’t give a fuck, his best friend was stood outside.

George practically threw open the door, and all he could think to say was.

“Your prettier than I expected.” 

Dreams throat constricted dangerously, reminding him of his condition before he broke out in a loud wheeze.

“Well you wanna come inside?” George propped his hip against the doorframe.

“Dang George at least buy me dinner first!” The brunette just blushed and shook his head, used to the blondes antics.

George just took a moment to admire Dream, who was on his doorstep before realising.

“Wait, Dream it’s -3° Celsius outside, and your wearing a fucking T-Shirt.”

“Weird ass Brits using Celsius, but yea it feels like I have hypothermia please let me in.”

George just tutted. “What happened to dinner.”

Dream just rolled his eyes and pushed George into the house, who just turned around and looked at Dream, completely unimpressed.

Dream laughed sheepishly before grabbing his duffel bag and ducking into the house, following George into the kitchen. As soon as George turned his back to make tea, the horrible urge to cough crept up on Dream as he started violently coughing. Dream shoved the blood covered daffodil petal into the bouquet he got George, just as George turned around and said.

“Oh fuck I forgot about my stream! Just let me go end it, and I’ll be right with you.”


	2. Stage Two

Dream warmed his hands on the cup of tea George all but shoved into his hands before going to end his stream. He smiled, the look of disbelief and joy on George’s face when he opened the door a second time, almost made the whole mess worth it.

Dreams eyes wandered to the bouquet of daffodils he bought for George, the bloody petal sitting innocently in the middle. Dream smiled again, but it contained no joy. His love for George was beautiful yes, but it was tearing him up from the inside, in the form of flowers. Dream chuckled, how poetic.

The blonde pushed himself off the Kitchen barstool and his sock clad feet made little to no noise on the wooden floor. He slowly made his way in the direction George had run off to, before coming to a stop at a wooden door. It loomed threateningly above him, almost daring him to take another step forward. So he did. His freckled hand grasped the doorknob and he twisted it, peeking his head into the room.

George’s voice floated over to him. “Oh hey Dream, I was just ending the stream.”

Dream nervously laughed. “Oh don’t end the stream on my account, I’ll still be here when it’s finished.”

George just rolled his eyes.

“Well then off you go, shoo. Don’t interrupt my stream time.” He paused for a second before continuing, sounding concerned. “That cough earlier sounded painful, I have some throat soothers in the kitchen if you wanna grab one.”

Dream just nodded his thanks before shouting a goodbye at the stream, and closing the door again.

Fuck. George was already concerned and it hadn’t even been fifteen minuets.

The light curled around Dream, painting a soft orange glow on his features. The sun was setting, casting London’s skyline in soft colours. Dream fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, nervously as he looked downcast at the dim wooden floors. His inner perfectionist cringed at some spots of uneven wood, but he just sighed, he had bigger problems than wooden flooring. The Blonde listened to George’s faint voice echo throughout the small house as he spoke to the stream, he was probably thinking about ending it soon.

At just the thought of George, Dreams throat grew tight, and he could almost imagine petals rising and falling in his lungs, a staccato rhythm constantly reminding him of what he couldn’t have. The thought squeezed his heart, or maybe it was the vines creeping throughout his body. He wasn’t sure.

Dream was torn from his procrastination by a small voice from the doorway.

“Dream are you ok? You look a little out of it.” George had a soft, yet uneasy smile on his face as he analysed Dreams face and slouched posture. 

Dream felt the skin around his eyes and mouth tighten, he didn’t want to, nor did he enjoy lying to George. The blonde just gave a feeble nod before looking at the floor, thinking about his condition had turned the mood sombre, and he could tell George had picked up on it. He was always to good at reading Dream.

“I’m doing just peachy George, probably just the jet lag catching up to me.”

Dream shot George a small smile, who casually returned it before opening his mouth to speak.

Dream chuckled. “Trying to catch flies George?” The boy in question shut his mouth with a click, before opening it again.

“Well, with the stench you brought in here, they shouldn’t be too hard to find.” 

Dreams green eyes lit up with humour as he laughed with George, before a tickle in his throat brought him back to reality, with a trickle of fear.

“Yea Uh, speaking of, I’m gonna go use your shower-“ He cleared his throat with a small cough. “If that’s ok?”

“Yea sure, it’s down the hall to the le-“ Dream started coughing, violently, before abruptly standing up and backing into the hall, like a cornered animal.

George reached an arm out towards him.

“Hey are you” Dream turned and speed walked, almost ran, down the hall, his tall frame shaking with suppressed coughs. George’s hand dropped back to his side. “Feeling ok” he whispered into the empty room.

Dream clawed at the bathroom handle, the blood on his hands making it slippy. It finally gave way and he collapsed into the bathroom, shoving the door shut and hastily locking it before lurching towards the toilet. He felt something creeping up his throat and gagged at the floral flavour, retching into the toilet bowl.

His red coated fingers gripped the white porcelain as he coughed up an entire daffodil. He froze in shock. The cold, cynical lights of the bathroom bore down on him as he scrambled away from the flower. His back hitting the door with a small bang. 

Dream gripped his hair and rocked forwards. “No.. no no no no no. This can’t be- This shouldn’t be happening, stage two isn’t supposed to develop this fast- I don’t understand..”

Light knocking came from the door.

“Dream are you okay in there? Please open the door.”

Dream sat up, his spine perfectly straight.

The blonde gave a nervous chuckle. “I’m fine, just felt a little nauseous.” 

George’s muffled voice filtered through the door. “People who are fine don’t leave blood on bathroom handles, so Dream you better open this door or god help me I’ll open it myself.”

Dream slowly reached towards the handle, opening it without leaving his place on the floor, and cringed at the audible click of the lock. George immediately barged in before crouching in front of the younger.

“Oh Dream..” George raised a hand to Dreams face, wiping his cheek. Dream frowned at the wetness before realising. “Oh I’m crying.” George gave a dry laugh. “Yea. You are.”

“Dream why is there a petal on your chin?” George looked around the bathroom, before his eyes locked onto the bloodied toilet bowl. He slowly inched towards it, peering over it to look inside.

“Dream, what is- why is. This isn’t what I think it is, is it?” The elder turned to look back at Dream, fear etched into his soft features.

Dream laughed wetly and nodded.

“Who is it?”

Dream just smiled and tilted his head. 

“You wouldn’t know them.”

George looked back at the taller, sadness painting his features.

“Your not getting the surgery are you? You’ve decided to just fucking give up. That’s why your here.”

The blonde just smiled at him sadly.

“Well Dream. The person who doesn’t like you back is an idiot.” Dream laughed at this. “And I’m going to make sure these next few weeks, are the best weeks of your entire god dam life.”

Dream chuckled. “That sounds to, die, for.”

George looked like someone slapped him.

“To soon?”

“Yes Dream, yes it was too fucking soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa as always please leave comments and kudos! It really motivates me. If you spot any mistakes or have any criticism feel free to leave a comment about it! I’m always looking to improve. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments, they really motivate me, criticism is also valued if you want to give it to me! Kudos are also very much appreciated, stay tuned for more lawl.


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